The Journey Continues

Good Morning All,

I had to take a break from posting. I've been kinda down for a while. A lot of emotional things going on. And with all that, I allowed it to effect my eating. Essentially, I gained back every pound I lost, and then some. I really have been unmotivated lately... and I'm really working on that. I'm getting to the point where I feel trapped in my own body, and I never felt that way before. Weird thing is, I'm finally beginning to see myself for what I am. A fat person. As weird as it sounds, I never really saw myself that way. It's kinda like I had shades over my eyes which distorted my view of myself. I didn't see me like others see me. I would see a picture of myself, but be in total denial about how big I really am.

I'm trying to pull out of this, but I'm starting to feel like I can't. I feel stuck, like no matter how much I move about, I can't change it. It's like I'm in quicksand and sinking really fast. I know some of this may sound weird.. but it's really where I'm at. I mean, I'm making some changes here and there, to get myself back to where I need to be... but my confidence in being able to loose this weight really took a big hit. For the first time in my life, I feel like I got a monster that I can't handle. I never ... EVER ... felt like there was something I just can't do. But this is really doing a number on me. So please keep the support coming. I really need it right now.